Fun Phrases Found In My Old Notebooks

He is the e. e. cummings of e-mail.

New Dance Move

"Jump the Turtle"

Literature

I have finished David Copperfield and have started reading Crime and Punishment.

It is strange to spend so much time in a world full of swooning women, only to leave it for a world full of difficult names. (From English peasants to Russian peasants.) Take the main character, Raskolnikov, for instance. While I was reading Crime and Punishment out loud to my father, who was only partially listening, and while I was stumbling across Raskolnikov's name, my father asked: Who is Ross Corn On The Cob?


Well, I shall soon find out. The book is dedicated to exploring his character.

Will he murder his pawnbroker or won't he?

Judging by his dreams about old mules, he will.

Then, I imagine, he will be plagued by guilt and torn apart by a world that is indifferent to the old woman's death.

Another noticeable difference in Dostoevsky, in relation to Dickens -- more drunks, many more drunks.

A Little Golden Book Continued

My niece's (age five) thoughts on The Poky Little Puppy: "That's a mean sign!"

Ism

"I bet that candy's old enough to vote."

Another Fun Little Golden Book Classic

In The Jolly Barnyard, Farmer Brown has decided to treat his animals to what they like to eat best because it is his birthday. The animals have a meeting and decide that they will return the favor by giving something of themselves to Farmer Brown. The sheep, for instance, decide to give Farmer Brown their wool and the rooster decides to wake Farmer Brown up in the mornings. However, some of the other animals' gifts are a bit more ambiguous ... maybe even alarming. Take, for example, the turkey's response:




and the calf:



Interesting.


Annie North Bedford. the jolly barnyard.
Illustrated by Tibor Gergely. Random House, 1950.

The Real G-Force

On the walk home from the grocery store tonight I walked by the local pet store. To my surprise, a gerbil was on the loose inside the building. It came up to the glass door, took a good long look at me and then wandered off.

"Stanley"

Chuck Close's "Stanley"




My attempt:

Ism

"That coffee tastes like floor sweepings."

Oh, Celery Stick, You're So Silly

Celery Stick Enjoys A Snow Day.



Celery Stick Plays Soccer.



Celery Stick Enjoys Nature. (Buzz, Buzz.)




Celery Stick Goes To The Circus.



Celery Stick Goes Shopping.




Celery Stick Takes Fritz On A Walk.



Celery Stick Enjoys Public Transportation.



Celery Stick Goes Back In Time.



Celery Stick At The Pet Store.



Celery Stick Doing Some Yard Work. (Clip, Clip.)




Celery Stick Visits Florida.




Celery Stick Enjoys Fancy Dining.


(Illustrations by Stephanie.)

The Local Newspaper Is At It Again

It's not clear if the newspaper staff was having some fun at the expense of the two males in the picture and, perhaps, forgot to finish the edits, or if this error was a result of some type of cutting and pasting mistake. At any rate, it doesn't make the news folks look professional.

But the real question is, does Johnny Depp know about this?

Hello, Tiny Fridge Magnet

"Hello, Santa."



"Hel looo."